Good Women by Halle Hill

Author:Halle Hill
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9798885740180
Publisher: Hub City Press
Published: 2023-07-30T00:00:00+00:00

On my way to my sister’s the next evening, I thought about how stupid I was. Hours later, after he left, I’d roamed the front yard like a stray, getting the courage to knock on his front door, and stood in front of his house in my Snoopy pajamas and silk bonnet, only to run back to my side when his dog barked and a light turned on. In the afternoon, as I backed out of the driveway, headed to run the final errands before my sister’s party, Melissa and Simon pulled up in a white Range Rover. Neil walked to his “ex” and tongue-kissed her deeply. Simon jumped up and down. “Daddy! Daddy!”

The retirement party, though, was a success. Vanessa’s co-workers pitched in and gave her a down payment for an RV. I avoided her all evening, wanting her to have her fun. I cleaned and restocked like a bag girl at Whole Foods. My sister wore a gold jumpsuit from a thrift store, and her whole community—ranging from twenty-somethings to folks well into late life—came out to support her.

As I cleared the trash, I took the bags to the curb and sat on the sidewalk, listening to the music thump behind me. I looked for the moon.“There you are.” My sister came outside and found me, offering me a cigarette.

“John says smoking decreases my chances of getting pregnant,” I said, taking one.

“I don’t give a shit what John says. This is my night.” Vanessa had the best laugh. She put her arm around my waist, kissed my cheek. “Thanks for all this. You coming over or what?”

At her kitchen table, my sister made us breakfast for a midnight snack: Sister Schubert’s rolls and butter-fried Wamplers sausage with hot chocolate mix drowned in hot, frothy whole milk. At the table, we said grace and tore into the food, enjoying the salty pork on the soft pillows of dough. I was more sheepish than my usual self, looking out the window. I remembered I had bite marks all on my neck like I was fourteen. While we ate our food, I made small talk, asked my sister where she was going to go first in the RV. “Utah? Maybe Wyoming? Have you been to the Tetons yet? Heard it’s incredible.” Her eyes burned a hole through me.

“You fucked that asshole neighbor? Wow.”

“I wouldn’t call it that necessarily.” I squeezed my knees together, my insides ached.

“What are you doing, Shauna? What’s going on with you?”

“Maybe don’t shame me?” I took another bite. “I’m trying, I really am.”

“I haven’t seen you all week. When we talk, all I hear is about the people in your little church group. How are you?”

I dipped the side of my biscuit into a shallow green bowl of apple butter, took a bite, and chewed until my jaw hurt.

“I’m fine.” I knew how Vanessa felt about John, about Allie, about all of them. When I’d first started spending time with them, she was confused, then angry—at my parents for taking me to their church, at me for not understanding how they saw us.

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